Category Archives: Confessions of a fanfiction writer whose dreams are to reach the sky

Is anybody there? (An open letter to my brain)

Is anybody there?

Is anybody going to read this?

I started writing this post in my head last night during a panic about the  old bank account for the GU Shakespeare Society  at 5 in the morning, but I feel that with everything going on right now, it’s been a long time coming.

I’m clinging onto OK-ness. Physically healthy, academically getting there and yet mentally my brain feels like it is holding the worst of all grudges against me. And so I think it’s fair to say that I’m struggling to keep my head above water. Just a bit.

Below are just a few of the lovely conversations that we’ve had together over the last few weeks.

‘You’re never going to succeed getting your degree.’ 

Thanks brain, I’m already coming to the end of my first semester of 4th year, watch me.

‘You’re going to fail your dissertation and you’re never going to hand it in on time. You can’t write a good academic essay anyway. ‘ 

Really? We’re really going there? I’ve got about 6k of words down already dear brain; I need 4k to get to word count and there’s the 10% leeway. And please don’t start about academic essays. I don’t want to hear it.

You’re useless. You’re the sibling who’s never, ever going to amount to anything. Best give up.’ 

That’s unfair. Really quite unfair. For the love of everything brain, can’t you see that we’re all different? We’re not supposed to be clones of each other.

Your faith’s crumbling. You just call yourself a Christian.’

That’s enough. I’ve been busy, far too busy to attend student group and I do try, so please don’t hold that against me. My faith is being explored in other ways until January (magical, blessed January with no looming deadlines!) comes and I can properly immerse myself into Student Group.

Your problems are invalid. You are invalid.’ 

I’m trying to be OK, trying to get there slowly, but it’s taking time. Please try and be patient with me and know that opening up is hard, but I’ll try and be more honest with where I’m at mentally. One of the main problems is that my main point of social interaction at the moment is in the library where everyone is stressed, so if I pass you off with a breezy ‘I”m fine,’ or ‘I’m OK… just’, know that I’m very probably not and it’s just because the ‘everyone’s in the same boat and don’t try and stick your head above the parapet’ mantra has been stamped into me and trying to unlearn it is something that is taking time.


’til death do us part’: The Greatest Marriage of All Time

’til death do us part’: The Greatest Marriage of All Time

Treaty of the Union The Treaty that started the greatest marriage of all time.

Marriage can be a difficult thing. Often in a marriage, nobody quite detests their other half more than the spouse that is forced to spend the rest of their life with them! I remember complaining to my Grandmother that my Grandfather would shout and swear, being the army man he was, far too often. I could not imagine any sane woman tolerating it, but her response to me was indeed one that would not make sense until a few years later. She told me that despite all of the flaws in her chosen spouse, she knew she loved him. Despite his incessant shouting, she remarked that when he is gone, the silence would be much more deafening and tragic. I realised that love is not an airy-fairy, fluffy feeling that you get in your stomach. Nor is it that moment…

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Arts Preview: Titanic: The Musical

Arts Preview: Titanic: The Musical

The rehearsal room is abuzz with a piano warming up and cast members changing into rehearsal skirts in preparation for one of the final rehearsals for the Cecilian Society’s production of Titanic: The Musical, which opens next week. Amongst the busyness and excitement in anticipation of this ambitious production, qmunicate grab a moment to talk to Director, Laura Campbell and Musical Director, Andrew McDivitt, to find out more about the show.

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Album Review – COLLABRO – Stars


Collabro have had little time to prepare for this album after winning Britain’s Got Talent (BGT) earlier this year, although I appreciate they have the might of Simon Cowell and Syco Music behind them. All the tracks are from the musical theatre, apart from Secrets (written by American Pop/Rock band One Republic) and All Of Me (John Legend) and they have put in all the necessary hard work to make this a debut album one they can be proud of. Their trade mark harmonies,that wowed us on BGT, are all there and you cannot fault their voices.


Nobody had heard of Richard Hadfield, Jamie Lambert, Matt Pagan, Michael Auger and Thomas J Redgrave aka Collabro before they won BGT. They are five very talented, very young guys; the the youngest members are only 21. They are passionate about what they do and they are all Leading Man material for the…

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A Positive Case for the United Kingdom

An incredibly well thought out post with brilliant points on a subject so close to everyone’s hearts at the moment- roll on the 18th!




In memory of all those who lost their lives in the Great War of 1914-18, we will remember them

Drinking Under the Moon

Remember me, when I am gone.

When life has lost another one.

Let me slip beneath the fires of hell,

Unnoticed by an unwelcome knell.

Let me not be scarred by war

As all I know that went before.

Youth becomes me even now,

As I take to the stage, a final bow.

When the emptiness of death

Has taken all but one last breath.

I will not think of starry skies

Or waste good air on wordless cries.

I shall leave it all instead,

To this tiny flower, stained with red.

The poppy grows all caked in mud,

It thrives in rubble, dirt and blood.

It stands alone as if a flag,

Waving out this bloodied rag.

Declaring loud for all to see,

a silent, iridescent plea

That asks if you remember me.

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Fictional Intruder

I don’t usually do this, but after reading the Daily Post’s prompt ‘Fictional Intruder‘, I felt utterly intrigued and compelled to write a response. And so without further ado….

1. Phillip Pullman: His Dark Materials

 My first world or fictional event to visit would have to be the parallel universe created by Phillip Pullman in his epic trilogy ‘His Dark Materials’ in which we follow the trials of a young girl named Lyra in her quest to overcome the steadily approaching evil that is threading to overpower not just her world, but many other worlds like it and by doing so; complete the quest that is growing up. When I first read this at about eight or nine, I was at first drawn into the idea of each human character having a daemon; or a physical representation of your soul in animal form. As a wide eyed child I wanted nothing more than to know what form my daemon was and even now; aged nineteen; am still intrigued at what form my ‘spirit animal’ would have settled into.

Lyra and Pan  His Dark Materials: Phillip Pullman

Lyra and Pan
His Dark Materials: Phillip Pullman

2. George R.R Martin: A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones 

I know it’s turned into a bit of a popular culture cliche; but when I first read the first A Song of Ice and Fire /Game of Thrones book at the end of my first semester at University, it was more Martin’s exploration and sheer amount of detail of the worlds of Westeros which drew me into this epic saga which I am still yet to finish and would give anything to visit. The nods to Medieval/War of the Roses wars on succession also satisfied my history brain and the characters… I do not think I have words enough in me to thank Martin for his ability to create and develop such intensely complex characters who whilst all still holding their own aura of mystique, were still beautifully believable.

A Song Of Ice and Fire: A Game of Thrones Published: Harper Voyager Date published: 1996 (paperback published 2011)

A Song Of Ice and Fire: A Game of Thrones
Published: Harper Voyager
Date published: 1996 (paperback published 2011)



3. Paul Stewart: The Edge Chronicles 

A slightly less well known choice for my third world in The Edge Chronicles by Paul Stewart. In my opinion this series would, with a sympathetic director with an eye for well thought out CGI, make a set of stunning children’s fantasy films with its’ collection of simply weird and wonderful creatures such as the terrifying Grossmother and the outwardly ferocious but inwardly adorable and heartbreakingly loyal Hammelhorns. The blend of Lewis Carroll and J.R.R Tolkien had me hooked from the very first page and one of the things I would tell Twig is: ‘I don’t care that it’s your destiny, ‘don’t stray away from the path!’

The Edge Chronicles Book 1: Beyond the Deepwoods Author: Paul Stewart Published: 1999 (Corgi Books)

The Edge Chronicles Book 1: Beyond the Deepwoods
Author: Paul Stewart
Published: 1999 (Corgi Books)


Much love,

Phoenixflames12 xxxx 🙂


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